Memories of Me Monday

If you saw yesterdays brief post you know that the memory jogger for today is: "What is your personal secret for happiness?"

Interesting question because one of my goals as an adult has been to be happy, purposely, by enjoying and treating each moment as precious, no matter how ordinary.

As a child, naturally, I didn't do that. At that time in my life, with so much of my life ahead of me, my happiness came from anticipation. I looked forward to 1st grade so I could play on the "big kid's playground" and not in the "baby yard," I anticipated the fun of Christmas, birthdays, and family vacations, I couldn't wait to be 12 and go to junior high school, 16 couldn't come soon enough because then I could date. Looking forward to these Big Events was exciting, and it seemed there was always a milestone ahead to look forward to.

I do remember, though, having a little trick -- and I suppose you could call it a secret -- that I used to help me through sad or scary times, but it still drew upon the concept of anticipation.

Although I loved school, there were a few things at school that were decidedly NOT fun for me; in fact, they were traumatic. Giving an oral report, for example, or doing a math problem on the board, reading aloud in front of my class, even my turn for Sharing Time in the early grades was an occasion for heart-pounding fear.

As I mentioned last week, I was very shy as a child. I much preferred sitting quietly in my seat to doing anything -- and I mean, anything -- that would cause my classmates to focus their attention on me. I can well remember that dry-mouthed fear, clammy hands, and fluttering stomach, when it was time for me to perform.

I also clearly remember that, once I was on my feet and had begun to speak, thoughts of home would float through my head and help calm me. The rational part of my brain would send me images of the front door of my house opening to welcome me. Inside my mom would be in the kitchen baking bread or cookies and the smell would fill the house. Through the kitchen window I'd be able to see our clothesline with a double row of snow-white cloth diapers snapping in the breeze.

In reality I was still in front of the class with knocking knees and trembling hands clutching my book report carefully printed in pencil but, as I paused to lick my lips and try to get a deep breath, I'd think to myself, soon this will be over and I can go Home.

I got through a lot of scary situations this way, by looking past it to the refuge of home. I saw my home as a sanctuary and, truly, it was the one place where I was completely protected, loved unconditionally, and accepted for just who I was. I wasn't shy around my family, I felt important, and I was surrounded by the people and things I loved best.

A lot of the things that frightened me as a child, still do. I still don't like speaking in public or being the center of attention. I much prefer to be in the audience than on the stage. But when it's necessary for me to do something that scares me I still use that same trick -- I cast my mind ahead and imagine myself at home, perhaps curled on the couch with a book and a cat, and I still feel that little lifting of my spirits as I think to myself, this will soon be over and i can go home.

One of my Favorite Holiday Cookies

(photo courtesy hersheys.com)

Peanut Blossom Cookies
1-3/4 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup peanut butter
2 T. milk
1 tsp. soda
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup shortening
1 egg
48 chocolate kisses

Combine all ingredients together except candy kisses in large mixing bowl. Mix on lowest speed of mixer until dough forms. Shape dough into balls using a rounded teaspoonful for each. Roll balls in sugar; place on ungreased cookie sheets. Bake at 350 degrees for 10-12 minutes. Top each cookie immediately with a candy kiss. Press down firmly so cookie cracks around edge.

Makes about 48 cookies.

Baking Day Got a Bit Out of Hand

Mike likes fresh-baked bread and since he has been working so hard on painting the house I thought I would treat him with a couple loaves of home-made whole wheat bread. I located an old recipe, one that I used to bake quite often when the boys were little, and got started.

Everything went great during the mixing, kneading, and first rise. Above is the dough just after I turned it out of the bowl, following the first rise. Looks great! I then cut it in half and rolled it up into two balls:

These got to rest for 10 minutes, then I used the rolling pin to roll the dough out and get rid of any bubbles, formed two nice loaves and put them in the bread pans:

A little while later is when I first noticed that one loaf seemed to be rising faster and bigger than the other. Hmmm. Well, I didn't worry too much, though, my loaves are never exactly even. I figured the smaller loaf would catch up during their time in the oven. Well, you can imagine my shock when I opened the oven door halfway through the baking time to find this:

That loaf in the back is MUCH taller than the other! And even the "smaller" loaf is huge! I just started laughing because these loaves are nothing short of monstrous!

Here's the bigger of the two loaves (above) just out of the pan. Look how much taller it is than the pan, ha ha ha! Below is the smaller loaf, sliced up in readiness for the freezer. We had expected to find huge holes (bubbles) in the bread, which would explain why the loaves were so big, but just one loaf had only a small bubble at the top.

In the back of the photo is what's left of the larger loaf. We've eaten the rest of it already! It's delicious -- the same yummy wheat flavor I remembered and had a hankering for (very much like my Mom's bread).

Granted, it was difficult to fit into the toaster, but wouldn't it make great (if ginormous) tomato sammies or french toast??

There's Nothing like Fresh-baked Bread

Nothing tastes better than fresh-baked bread. While I was growing up my mom baked 4 loaves of bread at least twice a week for our large family. I loved coming home from school and smelling that bread baking in the oven . . . almost as much as I loved smelling her fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies! My mom still bakes, though not as often since it's now just her and my dad at home, but I always look forward to her bread when I visit.

These days everyone is so busy that few have the luxury of devoting the majority of an entire day to the process of homemade bread. Even for people who are self-employed and work from home, like I do, can't devote the time (at least not very often) to make and knead the dough, put it through all its necessary restings and risings and, finally, bake it. So, when I found this book, "Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day," looked through it and realized the authors literally meant FIVE minutes a day, I couldn't wait to try out their new technique.

You've seen the photo (above) of my first loaf of artisan bread. It turned out great!

This is the dough ball before it was baked, on a wooden chopping board sprinkled with cornmeal. I chose the "Light Whole Wheat Bread" recipe for my first attempt.
Yep, those are cat paws. It's Jack. He always wants to help in the kitchen. I let him watch. No touching or tasting!
Here is the bread after I cut the first slice. The texture is wonderful, the crust thick and chewy just the way I like it and, best of all, it tastes delish!

Did it take just 5 minutes a day? If you don't count the time I spent reading the book -- YES! It's amazingly simple. All you do on the first day is mix together water, yeast, salt, and flour in a great big bowl, either by hand or with a mixer. Then you simply let it rest (in the same container) for a couple of hours (resting & baking time is not included in the 5 minutes a day calculation, of course). The dough rises and then falls a little in that time. Then you pick up the bowl, put a lid on it, and put it in the fridge.

The next day you cut off a piece of dough the size of a grapefruit, shape it into a ball, and let it rest on a cornmeal-sprinkled board for 40 minutes. Then slash it a few times with a serrated knife and bake for 35 minutes or so. And there's still enough dough in the bowl for 3 more loaves of bread! Each recipe is large enough to bake 4 loaves at once, or one loaf at a time for up to 14 days.

That's it! NO KNEADING! That's the hard-to-believe part for me. I've baked bread for 20 years and every recipe, except quick breads, requires kneading of the dough. Plus, the only rising or rising time is the initial two hours, then the 40 minutes before baking.

I'm very excited to have found this book and am going to buy a copy for myself. Until then I'll try not to spill anything on the copy I borrowed from the library.